* start thinking...

been feeling low...been thinking about all the mistakes and bad things i have done..well, it shows that we all want to be happy and strive to better and better..yes i do strive to be better...and i am happy....but what was bothering me was how society is so strong...how many people study so much, yet conform to the traditional rules...today i thought of some things...how i was always living like a beautiful idealist and reality just hit me hard...how we talk of women empowerment but then we women feel so powerless at times...you are out on the street....every fucking man watches you...you want to make the most important decision of your life but your family interferes....when you want to go somewhere, do something and be someone..tradition comes knocking at your door...then i think that education is really bad...because it liberates you, makes you too aware...and it makes you an idealist...you want things to be 'right'. 'equitable' and 'just'...ignorance is bliss!!..you just stay trapped in that dark world, not questioning, just moving...but now when i have studied too much (and that too, sociology) i cant help myself questioning every fucking thing in society.......and seeing that everything is unfair and screwed up and worse...we cant do much....it makes me sad but then i will never do anything...i am just one of those hypocrites no??...and i dont wanna do anything either....
something is still bothering me but i am too scared to write it...so i wont.........