When you tell people you watched Mary Kom,
they instantly comment that you must have learnt some boxing. But Mary Kom
isn’t about boxing! Yes, its about determination, chasing your dreams,
perseverance and …. ya all that. Its also subtly raises questions about
belonging to one’s country and the seeds of wars sown by political
governance.
Keeping this aside, it really takes a man
to have the humility, patience and strength to be a support to his
wife/partner. It equally takes a lot of trust, for a woman to have in her man
and in life to believe that he will be her support always. Its really a tribute
to all spouses who put their husband/wife before themselves during certain
situations and times in life. Its not just the men, but also the many women who
stand behind and sometimes along with their partner and go unnoticed by the
world. Their contribution, unconscious and conscious really adds to the
strength, which is the source of our perseverance to achieve anything in life.
But definitely the man needs more courage to face both the ‘man’ within him and
the community he stands in. I know so many men who want to support their
partners/wife’s dream but face the taunts and sneers from their peers.
I have seen little of such movies which
really question the (gendered) role institutionalization introduced by marriage. Perhaps
there isn’t any society more resilient to change than the Indian society when it comes to
marriage and the expectations defined by it. The film brought about a 'naturalness' in the playing the role not really expected by a husband. Like, daddy heating up the milk for his babies, telling his wife to go play/pursue her passion as he nursed one of his little ones. But the
underlying assumption to carry out this role was out of love, again not always
the basis of marriage.
Also, its inspiring to try to experience what a mother from your own country, overcoming obstacles of diverse nature is able to do when her family, husband and community believe in her. A lot of movies show women taking up challenges and going beyond traditional domestic roles, but few movies highlight a new mother doing so. Its very relevant for young women like us who are constantly grappling between the nostalgia of once being young and free and the comfort of stable relationships/marriage. Most of us, wonder if and when we should have kids and another most of us, who after having kids wonder how to get back to showcasing our (professional) skills too. We make tough decisions and very few husbands really understand what it feels like to be a woman/new mother. Not just any woman, but a woman of substance. A woman who is as skilled as him, who is passionate about any activity beyond the doors of the household, who dreams and who can contribute to society if given that one chance. She doesn't have to be 'like a man' or a 'feminist'. I REPEAT, she doesn't have to be like a man or a feminist. She can mold into all roles with equal panache.
Also, its inspiring to try to experience what a mother from your own country, overcoming obstacles of diverse nature is able to do when her family, husband and community believe in her. A lot of movies show women taking up challenges and going beyond traditional domestic roles, but few movies highlight a new mother doing so. Its very relevant for young women like us who are constantly grappling between the nostalgia of once being young and free and the comfort of stable relationships/marriage. Most of us, wonder if and when we should have kids and another most of us, who after having kids wonder how to get back to showcasing our (professional) skills too. We make tough decisions and very few husbands really understand what it feels like to be a woman/new mother. Not just any woman, but a woman of substance. A woman who is as skilled as him, who is passionate about any activity beyond the doors of the household, who dreams and who can contribute to society if given that one chance. She doesn't have to be 'like a man' or a 'feminist'. I REPEAT, she doesn't have to be like a man or a feminist. She can mold into all roles with equal panache.
I don't think any man or woman has ever
done anything big in their life, fulfilled their dreams or contributed to
society without the support of their spouse/partner. If so many men did it, with their
wives never thanked, never known by us…then have and can so many women. Not that
their husbands have to be unknown…but rather celebrated!
