lucky us!

if you were born between 1980 and 2000, then thank god for that....this is the coolest time to be born, coz its the coolest time to watch the indian society and the world transform, we are a lucky generation...i really thank mister god that he made me me grow up in this time and that im a woman...life can be so fascinating and so amazing.......we are watching some of the coolest things...which no one perhaps has seen...like..india is going through a massive social transformation...the class changes are so new...so fascinating for the social scientist....and ideological changes...there's this distrust in religion and god...lifestyle changes...changes in patterns of marriage and gender relations...new questions on sexuality and an exploration of alternatives...economic and political....we are so lucky to witness the recession....i mean its not really a blow, but some kind of defiance to capitalism....its a mark that change is possible, that status quo and the market's monopoly can be severed...that there exists humans, humanity, relationships, emotions and society in the world....hopefully we will see pro- people policies, new allignments, new ways of looking.........

like isha says.......only in crisis are heros born....

(hero...oh...hero...the male dude!!hahah)

sex slaves

ah i like this one...
i want to classify all men, then number them..like tattoo a serial number on them...we can create a whole race of useful species from men, a whole slave specie....we can eliminate the groce men (the one's who spit, pee almost anywhere, abuse and stink)....then we can put all the good looking hotties together...ah! as sex slaves...all the macho ones together, for doing all the work (bus drivers, plumbing....carpentry)...all the sweeter ones together for domestic work (cooking, cleaning...washing clothes...though i like washing my own clothes)....and maybe a last group....like a reserve force....
ah..........dreams.....i love me dreams!!!......who wants to live in reality when it has men in it.........
i hate men.......i will create a cadre a female assassins and gun down each and everything that has a dick......................
kill men, be happy....its simple.......

eliminate men

tell me one function men have in society???
i cant think of any.....i will keep trying though...
if women in the world die...then tell me how many men can live without us???...if men die.........we definately and happily can live without them....men cant live without women and still give them pain.......and there is not a single thing women are not capable of...men definately are not capable of everything women are..........kill all men...the way we eliminate pests from our house...we need to eliminate the male 'dysfunctional' species.....................

men are shit.......

the indian society is fucked up....greedy indians...all indians are greedy and ironically we are the poorest...we are a poor country and so fuking desperate to posses...we want to posses everything thats available...money or women...we bloody give and take dowry....coz we are hungry indians...we are dying of hunger....we can kill for money...indians are sex addicts...all they want to do is get married and have sex....marriage in india is all about having children...male children in case someones too dumb to realize......we want to make more and more men......arre fuck you india.......fuck you indians......poor hungry desperate male loving indians...go fuck yourself...make more more...coz of india the world is miserable...coz india is responsible for creating the most number of men in the world.....and men bring misery........eliminate all menand you make the world happy.......the male species is flawed....the fact that god created men only shows that God was mad enough to make a big mistake...i guess god was sleeping when he made men...guess he forgot to add some normalcy to men......men are defected...their whole species is...if any girl is looking for a perfect man, tell her she's crazy...its like saying i want a jupitar to have oxygen on it...its an oxymoron...men cant understand women, they cant give anyone happiness...their creation is redundant to society...they have tried thier best to make a place for themselves and succeeded by making a fucked up place for themselves...men are shit............like all shit...throw it away.......it stinks.

isha???

where is isha???
where did she go?????????????
i want ishaaaaaaaaaa
ishaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
isha
the hahahah
the hehehehe
the hmmmmmmmmmmm
thats the isha
the excited one is so sad now!!
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
get an isha
isha, get her back
ishaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
come
i wait for you
from you i will seek happiness
from you my misery ends
you are the isha i am!

isha's sad!

im just coping with lots of issues right now
lots of changes

i know....its hard
its hard with the conflict and the loss ...the change
to be happy
and excited
and feel good
and venture into the new
and into the old

feel so alone
alone.............in this massive world of things and people
where its so difficult to connect...
where all people are alone, all are scared
we dont express
talk
we stay lonely
sad
and we die

its a funny world.............

im just troubled and like all trouble im looking for some hope
but i dont know where to begin
how to start
where does it come from
i know that only my thoughts will change things
but my thoughts are negative
they are in pain...........
yet i will exist....cope and wonder
im too used to happiness, too used to comfort
to used to friends
not used to being alone
sad
and troubled

and i dont know what to do and where to go...........................
no one achieves anything alone
no one is happy alone
but then we all are alone!!
why??
why is a dumb question.....there canbe no questions, coz there are no answers
sometimes you hate being good
and being nice to others
sometimes you hate that you care about others
there is one thing i am excited about
maybe that will give me the motivation to feel good

sometimes a beginnning seems like an end
..................
ishaa

* from the bottom of my heart!

Read Erich Fromm’s ‘To Have or to Be?’…
Its all Marx…put in spiritual/philosophical way…he adds a psychological dimension to it, coz he’s a psychologist…
Here are some points I liked…
If you have read Marx, then this is soooooooooo amazing…
(Page numbers in brackets)

There are dimension of existence- the being and the having. They exist together. The being is of experience and expression…its about loving, sharing and relating to other human beings..
and the having is about possession and urges of survival (thus, commodification).

You can never loose what you be but you can loose what you have
You are what you be, not what you have
While having is based on something that is diminished by use, being grows by practice

“Only to the extent that we decrease the mode of having, that is the mode of non- being, can the mode of being emerge.” (89)
Though the capitalist society has made us believe that we are what we have…the being is reduced in capitalism…
He says that today “activity is a socially recognized purposeful behavior that results in corresponding social useful change.” (90)
But he thinks this activity is alienating…because it doesn’t give us space to experience ourselves… “In alienated activity, I do not really act, I am acted upon by external or internal forces”. (90)
For him, non –alienating activity is when I give birth to something remaining related to what I produce….he calls this productive activity…this is a part of human nature
REMEMBER THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MARX SAYS
(Fromm does nothing but condense Marx’s ideas)
these are some cool lines…think about them!!
“The unconsciousness is basically determined by society, which produces irrational passions and provides its members with various kinds of fiction and thus, forces the truth to become the prisoner of the alleged rationality.”(98)
this is what he says about the rich “ they do not have everything they wish and they wish for everything they do not have”.
“Human beings are more afraid of being outcasts then even of dying. Crucial to every society is a the kind of union and solidarity it fosters and the kind it can further, under the given conditions of its socio-economic structure” (105)
Fear is not about dying but about losing what I have- my body, my life…(thus, reducing these to a commodity).

what made me high was his concept of love…
“Genuine love increases the capacity to love and to give to others. The true lover loves the world, in his or her love for a specific person.” (103)
“The human desire to experience union with others is rooted in the specific conditions of existence that characterize the human species and is one of the strongest motivators of human behavior”.
Is this why we want to love?? (love, being union with others)…maybe coz it’s a part of human nature and it doesn’t motivate us to take things up…And head on…also, can we do without motivation?
“The truth is that there is no such thing as ‘love’. In reality, there exists only the act of loving. To love is a productive activity. It implies caring for, knowing, responding, affirming, enjoying the person, the tree, the painting, the idea. It means bringing to life, increasing his/her/its awareness. It is a process of self- renewing and self- increasing. What people call love is mostly a misuse of a word, in order to hide the reality of their not loving” (45)
Being in love is cool, coz having love ceases love coz love becomes a property contained and possessed.
“The marriage contract gives each partner the exclusive possession of the other’s body, feelings and care. Nobody has to be won over any more, because love has become something one has as a property. They cease to make the effort to be lovable and to produce love, hence they become boring…” (46)… “Instead of loving each other, they settle for owning together…” (like a house, kids, car…etc.)
“ In the being mode, more than person- in fact millions of people can share in the enjoyment of the same object, since no one need- or –want to have it….this not only avoids strife…it creates one the deepest forms of human happiness: shared enjoyment. Nothing unites people more than sharing their admiration and love for a person, sharing an idea, piece of music…the experience of sharing makes and keeps the relation between two individuals alive; it is the basis of all great movement…(but it must be genuine love)

he quotes from Marx…( I love this!!)
“The less you are and the less you express your life- the more you have and the greater is your alienated life...everything the economist takes away from you in the way of life and humanity, he restores to you in the form of money and wealth” (157)
“If you love without evoking love in return, i.e. if you are not able to be the manifestation of yourself as a loving person, to make yourself a beloved person, then your love is impotent and a misfortune” (158)

* From Ranchi to Jamshedpur

This was the coolest thing I thought about today…just popped in my mind like those thoughts I get…
Zipping back to my Ranchi and Jamshedpur trip…I realized that there is a difference between the cities…
Ranchi is the capital of Jharkhand and Jamshedpur (also known as Tata Nagar) was developed by Mr. J.N. Tata…the huge steel plant is there…the distance between the two cities is 3 hours…
This is really an analysis of urbanization (and urban sociology) and how capitalism and city planning can be related…
Jamshedpur is a planned city…Ranchi is not…like all most Indian cities…it kinda emerged…if you go to Jamshedpur, you will see that everything this there...within reach…like a hospital, work area (steel plant) housing, stadium…houses are the same..tehre are parks…
See how the capitalist develop and plan a city…they want you to have the elitist things…you need a house and hospital…but like a well –knit tight community, they have a stadium (for fitness and all- they have a swimming pool too!!) and parks…again elitist stuff (bourgeoisie leaning) …I have stayed at another Tata locality in Gujarat…it was similar…(like a mini country, with all the things for a bourgeoisie life- except it had a beach close by!!hahah)
But its boring…if you need to get your phone recharged…there is no local shop nearby (think of the Lutyen’s Delhi) …
Is is clean, green and serene…
But Ranchi is dirty, lanes here and there…its chaotic… loud…narrow streets…tempos, autos, buses…cows…cycles…(like the Indian city)

Jamshedpur is stripped of a cultural and religious identity…the names of the roads are ‘A’, ‘B’… ‘O’…Ranchi has the usual names… ‘Church road…’
Every 7 min, there is a church, mosque and mandir..
But in Jamshedpur…you could find a clean, shut Parsi temple…but not much beyond that…
Now the catch is that only ONE part of Jamshedpur is developed like this...the other part is called Jamshedpur 2…its like Ranchi
And lastly…
In Ranchi, most people are Biharis…there are some tribals also…(what I like to see as Jharkhandis) please add more insight on this, from those who know about this…but still Ranchi feels like Jharkhand…
And Jamshedpur I bet has more of migrants form other cities…so it doesn’t even feel like Jharkhand at all…I bet it brings a lot of city migrants…(like from Bombay and all)
……………that’s all….

P.S. Ranchi is better…coz it has nice places to eat, amazing coffee shops and things to buy (yes, im being elitist)
Jamshedpur is BORING!

* in india, we kill

This is something that happens only in India…the infant mortality rate is 57/1000 that means that there is a probability of 57 infants out of 1000 dying before they see their first birthday…
Its funny how in one household, a family prays that their child is saved…while in another they kill their happy, healthy newborn daughter!!!
That’s why I feel that if we shift our analysis from caste to class, we will see a new Indian society, that needs to be studies…caste is old…class frictions are emerging into a new dimension…

* teenage pregnancy is not bad??

I also read that some Indo-American report says that 48.4% of married girls have a child before the age of 18 in India…talk about teenage pregnancy!!...actually that’s the cool thing about it…the western world keeps saying…that teenage pregnancy is bad (it is ok, for the mother’s health) but for society (culturally and morally) it is not bad because its about being underage and pregnant…but because a girl is UNMARRIED and pregnant…think about it…that’s how society works…if im married and pregnant, society is happy…the moment im unmarried and pregnant, all societies (western, eastern ,center…whatever) have a problem!...its not the health issue that they bring to light, but the moral one…(welcome to the sociologist’s haven)
Lets say a society allows unmarried girls to have children??...then what…honestly I see no harm in it…yes, single motherhood is a fashion…but remember it’s a rhetoric for the elite and ambitious women..okie…its not culturally an accepted thing..

* here comes the market...

Read this in the TOI, March 11, 2009
The Indian Hemp and Drugs Commission was set up by the Colonial British government…the move was triggered off since they wanted to create a market for scotch whiskey by telling people that cannabis (which was initially used as an intoxicant) is harmful! I don’t know how many found the alcohol point in my Jharkhand mail cool but this point is the same as I had said earlier…everything comes back to economy and that’s why Marx is fascinating…

* we all cry!!

i cry alone
sometimes...
so much that the tears have become my friends
only my tears tell me that they will stay with me always...
they tell me that when you have a problem, just remember us
they tell me that when you dont know what to do, think of us
when you have no one to talk to, talk to us
when you need your face to shine...we will make it shine with the wetness
they tell me that best friends are forever...and no one is forever other than us...
my tears live my reality
they see me for who i am
they dont tell me what to be
and what to do
they just stay beside me
through the troubles
the pain
the sorrow
my tears give me company through the night
when i am alone
coz they know me more than anyone else
they have seen my face, experienced my pain
emerged from my sorrow
they stay till i smile
more than any friend would stay
they tell me, that when the whole world ditches you
or when the world is busy, unoblivious to you....we will come
they always come....
they always flow..........
they will be there
wherever i go

i am so happy today...coz like all indians i found my social identity..i found where i belong to ...and the belonging is so real..so emotional..

* quota quota..

this is coz saif said i should blog it...though he will forget that i ever did...we were talking about the quota system..and then i thought...that the best thing about the quota system or any system which promotes people from different backgrounds and ideas to mix...is that is allows different ideas to mix...people come from different places and when we are put together, our thinking evolves...those educational institutes in india where the quota is not really there (eg private and elitist places) only promote status quo...thye promote one dimensional thought...its dull, boring and static...i have learn the most when i have intereacted with people from different cultures, religions and regions...
i hate status quo...insecure masses!!

* theory is my valentine's

Why is the struggle for existence only limited to the material? Can you exist without happiness? Without resolution of conflicts?

Thoughts over Valentine’s Day…(point 6 is the coolest)
1. what’s Valentines day? It’s the expression of capitalism. Capitalism first makes us realize that we are lonely ONLY coz we don’t have someone to love…f*** capitalism….just having someone in your life doesn’t relieve you of loneliness and people who don’t have that person are not sad…ok…
remember capitalism does not tell us that we are lonely (that used to be there, when the market just told you what you are...like dark skinned, ugly, fat…poor, uncool…) but it’s a fallout that we begin to realize it…I support Saif’s argument that capitalism makes us individualistic thus, lonely…
2. ok fine, we are lonely (which is more of an inner feeling)…but then the market tells us that you are capable of buying happiness and buying happiness for you loved one…ah…buy a present...buy her gold earrings (what the hell were Indian marriages doing till date??)…buy her flowers (the phoolvaale are making money thanks to the market)
3.its become such a huge issue…sometimes its so embarrassing to accept that its happening here...in India…and coz of complex reasons…what’s amazing is that all of a sudden its become a thing…even last year, no one really cared that it existed…only metro couples (read: archies type) thought about it…
4.why? I give two reasons for this: a) the market has spread V day beyond the few cities it was in initially…b) the market has influenced other institutions to support V day…like today I watched the news (CNN- IBN) and the anchor begins “ today on Valentine’s day, we do not have good news”…matlab the first five news were only on V day!!...and the last news was on how to cook up something nice for your Valentines…so here you go…everything that is a product of the market is talking the same thing and making us conscious about it?
5. Now why these backlashes?...what the hell does religion have to do with love? (actually, V day is not about love*)…neither are these rebellions against love…this ‘new form of expression of love’ is seen as a threat to patriarchy and THIS IS WHAT religion can't take…religion (after marriage) enforces patriarchy and maintains it…(that’s why men are more religious!! And that’s also why men don’t see the need to rebel…they are blind to reality and oppression!)…
6. also the same democracy which allows this ‘new form of expression of love’ allows rebel…allows dissent, allows groups to mobilize and become strong…so both V day and its backlash are the products of the same thing
the funniest thing is that when we rebel against V day coz it’s a capitalist strategy…our goal becomes the same as the right wingers (winngers???)…that’s how ideology comes to a full circle…the liberal and the conformists have a common enemy…for the liberals its stauts quo and for the conformists it’s the change agents…that’s the beauty of V day…its for both to rebel

So this was theory…now practice…theory is so perfect, practice is full of contradictions and emotions…
So im gonna go now and enjoy my valentines with chocolate chip cookies (bought them for my valentine…my sister…I only bought one pack so we would learn to share them!!)

Thank you Chanchal, Saif and Sayed ……..

* what is love…I have no f****** clue…

* emosanal attyachaar

Arrey sapne dekhe jannat ke,
par mitti mein mil jaen....
tauba tera Jalwa,
tauba tera pyar,
tera emosanal attyachaar!

Watched Dev. D…
Made me high…

It will take a long time till society can make a film in the opposite way…why cant Devdas be a girl next time…society has not given us accepted ways to drown ourselves in intense feelings (u can call it love if you think it exists??) and ways to rebel…like alcohol and turning to sex…
but then also...what women have to rebel against are different things… (this can literally be a separate blog)
There are four things I would love to know:
1. from men: how would you rebel/drown yourselves in intense feelings
2. and how would girls do it?
3. and today what are women rebelling against?
4. and men?
At the end of it, we all are rebelling against conflicts…what conflicts? yup...society- its norms and practices versus our inner choices and wants
THIS IS MY DAILY CONFLICT
(on top of that I’m a thinking sociologist…just complicates the matter…talk about ignorance being bliss…knowledge is hell!!)

yes, a tiny….tiny….tiny section of women are struggling against the sexual conformity vs liberation conflict…
but all women (the thinking ones) are fighting against this conflict of crossing boundaries, transgressing norms…
why are ONLY men allowed to transgress norms yet be the 'patriarchs' and when women cross the boundary, its about social honour??

fuck the conformists!

I mean women are not even allowed to think that they can cross boundaries…and even when women are not crossing boundaries of society, but being women and doing what men have traditionally done- its like 'whoaaa, stop it there'* (yes, there are societies where even men transgressing those boundaries are not liked…but they are accepted sometimes- I will not take the names of these societies/and men)

* there are exceptions where women are allowed and even preferred to do what men have been traditionally doing...but these are because capitalism has allowed it...like women working....(controversial still)

But I am a liberated woman….coz I can think freely…that’s all….that’s harder than being physically liberated…now this is personal…but as a woman there are so many times I feel like ‘what are you doing?’…I feel that if society comes to see me in this way- society will die…
like..society has problems when I be with men…when I talk to them about anything (ANYTHING)…even in the middle of the night (I add)…but more than this, I feel it inside me…I have this constraining feeling…something that makes me guilty, at least makes me think…

after a point, society cant take the fact that i hang out with guys, that i drink chai at the street dhaba, that i talk to bus vaalas, that i walk alone in the evening on the street, that i flirt with guys...that i drink...

well, F them...

if men, marriage and society exist to f*** women...i give it back..i say f*** them................f*** all the conformists who cant see change...who live and die in sameness...who merely exist...remember, its only the norm breakers that move society...and no society is static...its only the change makers that have been remembered...conformists are merely puppets, dumb masses, a sack of potatoes that rot in the sack...they stink of their sameness, of their dumbness, of their incapacity to change, of their impotency to struggle and their ignorance to innovation....

back to the point...and more than this …I accept it about me and I talk about it…I havnt talked to anybody, but unlike many girls, I have the guts to write about it…(but not beyond this)
Coz I believe in ideological freedom and talking about anything…after all, we are just people…we think alike…but we just hide it…(f****** ego we all have)
Sometimes I am a Paro and a Chandramukhi because I break norms…and society comes back on me to tell me that you are a woman…(that’s the beauty of the movie)
For the many dumb people - this is not about sexual liberation but ideological liberation…which can manifest in many ways (sexual being one of them)…its also a way to rebel against oppression…to hate status quo…………

One this clear…men do like women for their looks and their body
But what’s clearer is that men LOVE women coz women make them feel good about themselves…it’s a male ego thing…
Men are sooooooo lonely, and their ego is MASSIVE…and women are the best way to keep things in control…matlab, to stay out of loneliness and satisfy their ego…
But don’t worry…….women are luckier, coz we are more powerful…how? Coz we have power over men…and we can make them hate themselves and drink their life out ....f*** patriarchy i say…

But the movie is also about escape, from ourselves and from our conflicts…its about liberation…and the pursuit of happiness…
Its about being liberated and happy at the same time???
Only dev.d did it…can you???
I think I need a glass of vodka (but I like mine with sprite)
hahahahah

* Pappu Cant Dance Saala

This is sociological material!! Its called Pappu Cant Dance Saala…(I love saying that word…its so guy like…but then society wants women to be like men…well, damn society, you want us to be like men, then don’t regret it when we become like them…ewww……yuck!!...i would rather be fungus than a man!) hahahahha
Okie…now the point! hahahahahahha
Hahahahah

So listen to the song…(there may be some mistakes)
Hai Muscular,
Hai Popular,
Spectacular
He’s a Bachelor
Paapu Ki Gaadi Tez Hai,
Pappu Kudiyon Mein Craze Hai
Pappu Ke Aankhen Light Blue,
Pappu Dikhtha Angrez Hai
Rado Ki Ghadi Haathon Mein Hai
Perfume Gucci Waala

But Pappu Cant Dance Saala…
Pappu Nach Nahin Saktha

Paida Pappu Hua To Kismathein Chamki
Aur Uske Moo Mein Thi Chaandi Ki Chamchi
Pappu Ke Paas Hai Paisa,
Haathon Ke Meil Ke Jaisa
Pappu Yaaron Ka Yaar Hai,
Pappu Is Hot And Smart Hai
But Pappu Cant Dance Saala….

Baap Kehthe Hai Bada Naam Karega;
Mera Pappu To Aisa Kaam Karega
Pappu Ke Paas Hai MBA,
Kartha Hai France Mein Holiday
Pappu Guitar Bajataa Hai,
Jahan Jaatha Hai Chchaa Jaatha Hai
But Pappu Cant Dance Saala….

This is EVERY urban/elite/wannabe guy’s dream (at least in our Delhi). This is also sadly EVERY urban/elite/wannabe woman’s dream man!! (try to reverse it and see what men would like in women…it would be different). Now secondly, its cool coz it reflects our changing society, about hopes and ambitions of today’s youth…BUT
Isn’t it cool that its actually a BLOW to capitalism. It tells capitalism (and our new society) that dammit you can buy everything, achieve everything, but there’s one thing money cant buy (nor MasterCard) and that is the TALENT to dance…
It says that capitalism makes everything a commodity which can be bought and sold by anyone but society doesn’t just want this…its beyond capitalism
And the word saala deliberately plays on this paradox…its kinda a rebuke to the wannabes…
Hahahahahhaha
Wow…I was listening to music…and the song just came!!cool…..
I also like the music of the song!!

* Haule haule ho jayega pyaar …

My favourite song aajkal (apart from Tujh mein Rab dikhta hai and Pappu cant dance saala)…
So another song I love is Haule Haule..from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi!! Its so sociological!!...
Society constantly teaches us one thing. Be patient. Things will happen…slowly…haule haule…
Read the lyrics…they are cool…
Haule haule se hawa chalti hai
Haule haule se dava lagti hai
Haule haule se dua lagti hai

Haule haule chanda badhta hai
Haule haule ghoongat uththa hai
Haule haule se nasha chadta hai (hamesha nahin!!...for those who believe in the vodka shots!!)
… …. …
Haule haule ho jayega pyaar …

Society does one thing (turning to dear Freud) it works to kill our need for immediate gratification (Id)…and thus, it says to us ‘haule…haule’…it teaches us to accept that things take time!!...

Tu sabra toh kar mere yaar!!!!

* when theory gives me space for emotions

This is almost a masterpiece for me!!...its very personal mixed with complex ideas…it’s the hardest thing to write about!

This is one of the coolest ideas that struck me. No society accepts love. Even if you think that the French society is all ok with it, then think again. Or better yet, ask the French. I bet if a French girl tells her parents, that she is love with an Indian man and wants to marry him, they will be like “????” and not say “oh wow, you are in love…great”. The other liberal society I can only think of is of the Scandinavian countries. But I have one argument to support why this society does not accept love easily too.

Its simple. Love is the only force which can destroy society. Duh!!

Only love has the capacity to destroy all institutions and status quo. It can crumble hierarchy and structure. It can shatter our roles and status in society. This is the ONLY reason why society hates it.
Love can destroy capitalism. It can destroy caste. It can destroy marriage. It can destroy religion. It can definitely destroy patriarchy. Love is the only alternative. While revolution is a means. Love is an end. I keep thinking about alternatives. I am searching for alternatives to this society. And I have found one. Its called love.
Now for the masses, what is love???
For me, love is a selfless unconditional feeling for others. It requires only one thing. Kill that ego. But people are selfish, people want to prove themselves better and demean others. They have this fake self-pride. Hollow creeps! Thus, people are incapable of loving. Thus there is no revolution, no change, no rebellion with a cause, no one to break status quo, no one to shatter the structure, the hierarchy…
Coz society makes us so egoistic…so group oriented, so material, so power oriented that we don’t even give a shit that there are other people…
Ok this was anger…
Now the theory…..arre the theory is sexy!!
Capitalism
Caste
Religion
Marriage
Patriarchy
These are the facts of the Indian society (even culture…but im being biased, coz I aint against culture)… theory has only been able to find an alternative to one of these..that is capitalism (the rest are waiting for the theorists!!, so you all contribute).
Now I like two alternatives to capitalism…(this is personal!!)
I like Gandhi’s concept of community living
And I love Marx’s concept of communal ownership of property (im reading more on this…)
Now Gandhi and Marx are the same…its just their way of writing and expressing the same idea is different…Remember for both it’s the ‘commu’ which is more important than the ‘capital’… (or people over things)
For both the society they conceived of rested on the idea of love. It was a selfless feeling for others. It was about drowning our self-pride and our flushing our freaking ego…isn’t that amazing!
But then we all are hypocrites…we talk about religion teaching us nice things and being good to others…well, religion has failed to teach society about being good to others (if it was supposed to do that and if it wasn’t …then tell it to go to hell).

Its easy…its about being good to others (for the hedonist - this does make us feel good about ourselves). It’s about putting others before ourselves. And it’s about giving without thinking about receiving, its unconditional!!

Capitalism is one thing which works on the individual, his need, his pride, his achievement, his merit, his ego, his reward, his goal, utility, gratification…
But anyone who lives by these values will be destroyed. Its self-destruction. Capitalism destroys the individual. And love destroys society. That is why society hates love (and not capitalism). Society doesn’t give a shit about individuals. It only cares about itself.

Its funny that if love is so complex and selfless and painful (if I can add)…we still want to be in it...!!!hahahah…f*** society!

* When knowledge gives up!!

There are three things which neither sociology, religion, science…or whatever epistemologies you turn to… can explain

Power
Gender/Women*
Love

these remain the most debated, complex and largely experiential aspects of society…they give us questions, paradoxes and personal and social conflicts…you cant find a solution or a fixed path…perhaps that’s why no subject has taken it up to study them (though sociology has taken the former two somewhat)…and even psychology has done some justice in understanding them…why psychology has succeeded in its endeavors is because these things are totally ‘experiential’…they are in the mind… but they are in society too!! The most amazing thing is that they are ubiquitous.

* depends on whose side you are on!!

* Yeh koi vivaad nahin!!

Some feelings are inexplicable. And there are points in our life when we feel them. Like ‘self-actualization’, ‘trance’, ‘enlightened’… ‘high’…
I seriously love these moments!!...here’s one where I felt so high…
Went for an entrance exam somewhere and the first task they gave me was to translate a hindi news item to English.

Two weeks before. We had to write and practice some news at college. So I picked up some Hindi news item. Why?
For all the purists…who are highly uncomfortable to hear my hindi…and still wondering why I did something like that…
Well, Khayyam wanted to do it in Hindi (he was my partner) and so I agreed, I told myself, “there’s nothing you can do, come on, take it as a challenge”..i will admit that I thought Hindi is easy…but people…news Hindi is sooooooooo hard if you don’t have much exposure to it (yes, I have never read a Hindi newspaper, and i just cant understand Hindi news on TV…so I watch it in English)….i had nothing to loose to do the news in hindi…
So what are the Tamil Tigers doing??..i asked Khayyam…is it yudh?? Ladhai??...he said no…it’s a ‘vivaad’…….So the first word I learnt that day was vivaad…

Now back to the written test, I was given the hindi script…and the first word of the piece was “vivaad”…wow…I was so in love with Khayyam and myself…I was so happy that two weeks ago, for the first time in my life, I took up a challenge…I had never done before…its was meant to be
My classmates laughed at me and so did my professor…arre…even my dad mocks at my hindi…but man, I don’t give a shit…big deal….i can do what no one else can..i can be different…
I am remembered of two people I recently like..one is Katrina Kaif..she cant speak hindi well, but India likes her…she makes the statement that hindi can be spoken in an accent..(thank you)…and then there is Farhan Akhtar…been watching Oye its Friday…he gives you the perfect example of Hinglish…
Hinglish??...yes, for the purists, its blasphemy…for the real…its true
Hinglish is NOT…I repeat NOT a mixture of hindi and English, it is not random selection of words...but it’s a careful selection of two genres of words (which happen to be in different languages)…
Lemme explain…
Chalo, ab hum apna agla performance dekhte hain…
Kitni saari political parties contest kar rahi hain…
Yaar, train late thi…
Im not sure ki mujhe yeh achcha lagta hai ya nahin….

See, words like performance, late, parties..are used in english, their hindi translation wont be used…and words like ‘ghar’, ‘achcha’ will mostly be used in Hindi…
Like you wont say ‘main apne home jaa rahi hoon’…or ‘yeh ice cream kitni good hai’…
For the linguist, this is food…

Ek toh, Hinglish has lots of Urdu in it…ok…so for the purist…..hahahahahhahaha

Chek out the word to be ‘bored’…
Boriyat…(I think its Hindi or Urdu or Boredom...am I right??)
Boredom, boring…is English..!!

* Reverberation of Religion

Ok, was thinking superficially about how sound is related to all religions. Its amazing. All religions have some hymns, bhajans, sung prayers…some reference to sound. That is so sexy for a sociologist, it puts you into trance!!! I haven’t sung much ever. But nowadays, I am trying to get hold of some things I can sing. (its hard, coz you can only do it in a group). That’s what I love about Durkheim. Religion is collective, not personal you silly!! He feels right when he says that some form of ‘effervescence’ is created when members of a ‘single moral community’ come together (like through the singing/sound). Its actually fun and feels great to sing together!
Another thing I like about singing is following the ‘lyrics’ of religious songs/hymns/prayers. Honestly, I don’t understand most of it. Its very hard. What is it? Hindi? Sanskrit? Braj? Urdu?...dont mind my poor vocabulary. (trust me, my vocab sucks!!) Well, there are three types of prayers I have sung a bit. I only know them superficially, but I actually thought that the ethos they sing about it quite different.
Most mainstream Hindu (Sanatan Dharam) prayers are narrative in structure. They have some underlying story. They materialize most aspects of life- like God, morals etc.
I maybe wrong, coz I have only read one or two…I definitely cant understand them!!
I read the Radhasoami prayers (still cant understand them!!). But they are more abstract, more transcendental, more other-wordly, more typically what we like to brand as ‘spiritual’. (This would be close to the Arya Samaj philosophy and all Bhakti movement philosophies). This is definitely food for the historian!
And the only prayers I understand are the Christian ones (yes, it’s the English!!). And I have been exposed to them in heavy doses. Christian prayers see God in a different way than the other two. God is your friend. God is your adviser. (now, for the Hindu, Lord Ram is definitely not your friend!...but Jesus is). Christian prayers are a lot about ‘blessings’, ‘forgivingness’…they are heavily loaded with morals. The Radhasoami prayers are less of morals, but more of salvation and duties. Hindu ones are more collective, while the other two are more individual oriented. Hindu ones I need to read more, to know more.
But this is my view. And I need to get back to reading more prayers to get to know more. Its just that I cant understand them. (Religion trust me is for the elite!!). Actually the fact that religion is believed to be contained in books/texts makes it elitist. Dammit have you seen the literacy rate of our country??? No wonder why we cannot be seen to be religious!!hahahah.
Now I am reminded of Robert Redfield's concept of great tradition and… the oral tradition. (im developing a new theory on Hinduism…wait for it)

I’m tempted to quote the God of sociology of religion. Here’s to Durkheim:
"A religion is a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, i.e. things set apart & forbidden-- beliefs and practices which unite in one single moral community called a Church, all those who adhere to them."

* To be or to do

This is cool. You can be a Hindu without practicing it. But can you be a Christian without practicing it? Perhaps that’s why Atheism as a philosophy grew in the western world, where Christianity was dominant. Not in countries where Hinduism is dominant! Hinduism gives you the freedom to not to do Hinduism! Perhaps Hinduism differentiates between doing and being. You can be without doing. Ha society! What can you do??? Stupid society, you have failed here again. You have failed. Society says you have to be what you do, like a woman, a member of a caste, a capitalist…but society what if I separate the being from the doing???...what if I be a woman and not do it??? (the last question is debatable...plz do NOT even try to answer it if you are not a woman…)

* For Sir Amit Kumar Sharma

This is one thing that I have found to be the one of the deepest thoughts about society. It was August 2007. JNU. Methodology of social sciences was the class and Professor Amit Kumar Sharma said this cool thing. He said that India is not a religious society, but a cultural one. I was put into thought…what I believed for years that India is soooooo religious was just put to the background…what??..what??..what did he mean…its been more than three years and I so love his thought…he comes up with the deepest sociological facts about he Indian society, that most people cannot comprehend. Today I support his argument and I try to explore it further…I cannot explore it to the best, but will give it a try.

I have felt more religion in America than in India (thanks to the comparative method Radcliffe- Brown and Durkheim taught us!). Some reasons to support this. Sunday church is like mandatory. Hollywood has glorified those films which rest on Biblical themes. You gotta say ‘Amen’ before lunch. Well, ‘in God, they trust’.
In India, culture comes before religion. Religion just happens to be infused in culture. But like Amit Kumar Sharma said, India is a land where people like to sing, dance, eat... celebrate. Then India is truly a land of culture first.
Now I wonder why.
India is multi-religious, so to put religion in the forefront in society, you need to specify which religion, which you can’t. Nor, are we are monolithic like America which has allowed one religion to dominate.
Within religions, we have millions of differences!
But this is what the ‘aam’ sociologist says.
Think deeper. Here are my reasons why.
We have infused culture with religion. Only half of our material culture corresponds to religion (and the other half really has no literally/direct religious affiliation like ‘papri’chaat’). Our non-material culture is quite religious though. (still need to think this over)
In America, their non-material culture is very religious also. But their material culture is more capitalist than religious.
Our culture (the other half) and way of life is very much associated with livelihood issues and existence. (like harvest, rites in initiation). America has more or less tackled the issue of livelihood, so they have time (and fear- of God) for religion. I do believe that when man is materially prosperous, he turns to God. So thus, in America, ‘in God, we trust’…bhai, it is God who only made capitalism no?? (sorry for the supporter’s of Max Weber’s The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism)
In India, God is not so much associated with our material wealth…he really gives no shit about our poverty! Actually, we have never put God along with our livelihood issues. Rather, we have put culture.
Actually the fact that religion is believed to be contained in books/texts makes it elitist. Dammit have you seen the literacy rate of our country??? So thus, we are not religious!! hahahah. (This is a sarcastic argument, not a sociological one!)

* kiske liye thank you???

this comes from a conversation with saif at the coffee shop...

in america 'your welcome' is used often and ALWAYS after thank you...
but in india (pure personal experience and seen 100%)...we dont use both words (welcome and thanks) so easily...

one is that we dont really have a concept of 'thank you' in culture..BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE ARE RUDE OR UNGRATEFUL...
but we expect some people to be natually good to us and do us favours..

like if you buy me chai and i say thank you...you would wonder why is she thanking me, im her friend, friends do this, there's nothing literally to be so grateful about..and you would also expect me to buy chai (cot coz you bought it for me) but coz friends do this all the time...there's nothing thanking per se about it..

i give two reasons behind it...
1. one is that our culture is based on collective living, thus, interdependency and working together
english comes from an individualistic culture and thus, you are grateful (coz you literally are not expecting someone to fo you a favour)....here you are grateful to each 'individual'..
2. thank you is a foreign language word thus, has lots of formality in it, so its use implies formality...thus, you would thank someone maybe older than you, but not your friend...(while in america you would thank all)....

thats why here, whenever i have thanked friends (its a habit)...then they are like..'come on'. 'aisi koi baat nahin'...they actually find it weird (and sometimes kinda like an insult) if you thank them...i always used to wonder what's wrong and i couldnt understand it...i mean none of my friends have ever said 'your welcome'...(in ENGLISH)...

see our english is shaped by our original language (mine being hindi...since hindi has no eqivalent of welcome, so in english its not used either...AND BEYOND THAT...WHICH IS EXPERIENTIAL...is that we have no experience of welcome coz welcome is an acknowledgment of thank you/gratitude to an individual)

with thank you coming from outside we have come to believe that THIS IS POLITENESS...but politeness is not just in words, its also to be behaviour...
words are not politite, but people are !....
now i face a very personal dilemma almost everyday...i have never shared it with anybody..but now i cant use the word 'thank you'...coz we just dont thank people in this western way....we prefer to say 'theek hai' or we arent really grateful in the western sense...
like for eg..a american would automatically thank a chaivaala, but we wouldnt ...rememebr not coz we are not grateful...but the chaivaala is like our brother (bhaiya)...so you dont really thank your brother...coz your brother is supposed to be good to you....in our culture, we thank those we dont expect to be thankful or formal people...samjhe????....

maybe thats why i say "dhanyavaad'...its kinda thanking you, but not very western (in philosophy)...
i use thank you in other ways (like informal girly ways....like thankuuuuuuuuu)...that you dont need to bother

okie...i have a very ingrained thing of saying welcome if someone thanks me...but now i cant use it (after almost 10 years of using it in india)...
firsly when i used to use it, poeple did find it funny (coz we dont literally welcome..they thought i was formal or rude)...
so i unconsciusly dropped it...now when someone says thank you, im like "haan, theek hai"..or i nod my head and smile...
see...i cant use it, it sounds rude in india...
hehehehehhe

* the politics of zoos

so one of my questions seems to have been answered. i like saif's idea of keeping animals caged in the zoo (and our fascination for them)...its a power mechanism...its a process by which we think we are superior to them...hmmm

* rab na bana di language

this is one of the coolest things...the word 'rab' is inherent to both languages - Punjabi and Urdu...hmmm

was talking to sayed about it...he offers me a cool solution to this linguistic creepiness of our country (im very proud i know only two indian languages...!!and their usage is well-defined)...but he suggests... 'second mother tongue'...

i mean in india, how can you EVEN have a mother tongue???...we know like millions of languages...

three sociological points:

1. this one language thing is part of capitalist epistemology...one ...why one...why one political leaning, why one profession, why one boyfriend? why one God?...why is everything constrained to one!!

2. in india, how can we even think that some language is first mother tongue and another is second...how do we even know???who decides what comes first???

3. helloooo ...mother tongue???..mother...(god this reminds me of something else!hahah)...ok...why is it a mother tongue, coz it comes first??? or is it something that we acknowledge first...i dont know...

* my visit to the zoo

i love the zoo...i love animals...wanted to go there for many years...
so i saw so many beautiful animals...the lions, tigers, giraffes, panthers, nocturnal cats, eagles, all kinds of birds...all kinds of deers, elephants..chimps, ducks, alligators, a white peacock...
so i had lots of questions that i wanted to put forth..i dont have answers...but they are sociological...just for you guys to wonder!!
1. why are people fascinated by animals?
2.when we asked kids there fav animal...they generally had same answers..like 'lion' and elephant...human society really likes to put lions on top (is this coz of the power factor...power is so mysterious!)
i mean we attribute power to lions, and we place everything we think is powerful on the top (includes men, technology, nuclear arms)...remember THIS IS A PERCEPTION...capitalism makes power a material thing...(exception is God- for the believers)
3. why were some birds caged and others were not?
4. how do the non-caged birds know what's their territory...and they never would attack people

5. i was so broken seeing the elephants since their hind feet were chained...chains are created by human society!!!...(something we need to learn from animals!!)........i strongly think that elephants shouldnt be i the zoo...coz you see them everywhere here...
6. its amazing how they choose how many and of which sex are the animals to be put together..like i dont think they will put two male chimps and one female one together (the men will tear each other apart)..ahahahha
most animals were in pairs, even families...
7. but mister lion was alone...the lion was amazing...he kept taking rounds at least 40 times..in the same way, never changed it..i wonder why??
8. we later saw the lioness was caged and he was taking rounds next to the gate (on the other side was the lioness)...i ask..WHO THE HELL SEPARATED THEM...??i bet the lion was broken...he must be torn apart..wondering why his lady was on the other side in a cage...ooooooh...that hurts...he's not human that you can tell him (remember all people are not people..even we have this side to us!!)

animal behaviour is so amazing.......you could sit for hours and watch it!!
i will be going to the zoo regularly now!

* to die or not to die

this is one of the biggest ironies in society (other being religion, hypocrisy and the individual's relation with society)...

society attaches no importance to individual life...and each individual is so scared of dying...i mean we attach so much value to our lives..

hmmmm

-ishaa

* de gaali

one of my most sociological discussions and the longest i have ever had...are with mahim...this is one of the coolest

he said how hindi (or any regional language/own language) gaali in india has some sort of sacred value and real abusive power so its not used to frequently, not used by the youth and not considered cool and only used for real abuse...

while gaalis in english are used frequently and easily, they have less abusive power and are sometimes cool...english is a kinda a 'outside' language for us...

three things: its hard to relate to another language and use those words with the same sentiments..

secondly, the youth do attribute 'coolness' to english and use abuses the way Hollywood does...which is again less abusive and more everyday

now, i wonder what about gaalis for those whose first language is english....??

okie...now one thought from me...just yesterday i was listening to this new SRK song and there are more songs of Bollywood which have begun to use gaalis...one is that songs will lessen the abusive power of gaalis...and thus, they will become everyday and this can actually loosen power structures and the power of abuses and how we use them in a derogatory sense...thus messes up hierarchy...wow!!

* proud to be indian

im trying hard to think of what is exclusively and loveably 'india'...here's some things (with inputs of friends):
1. quest for last name
2. negotiation of identity according to need
3. primacy to non-capitalist institutions....
4. this crazy urge to get married
5. caste
6. multiplicity
7. SRK
8. some 'chai' or regional drink culture...
9. gutka
10. dowry
11. autos
12. peacocks
13. hijras (see how culturally they are accepted in our society than in any other)
14. tutti fruity (plz tell if you know this concept exists somewhere else)
15. JNU
16. matke
17. tabla
18. khadi
19. bioscopes
20. men peeing on the streets
21. chane vaala culture
22. craze for goras and likeness for fair
23. indian railways
24. kulfi (i know this is wrong, then i should include jalebis, gulab jamuns, and then we can go on to lassi, tandoori naan and...but kulfi and pakoras seem less attached to a particular community..and samosas and jalebis and gulab jamuns...okie...whatever)
25. pakoras and samosas...
26. khaats
27. president in name???
28. lakhs and crores (yeh kitna cool hai na!!)
29. so many political parties..nowhere in the world
30. the most number of languages are spoken here..(nobody knows the count)
31. the word and meaning of 'sharmaana"
32. (we are in new month..32..heheh)...beedhi
33. ok..this is cool...we have 18, 000 Gods??..and so many more i bet...and so many people who dont even believe in God..
34. kabaddi
35. kho kho
36. keekli

these are some things that are given more importance in india than anywhere else... OR are exclusive to India!
still thinking..will keep updating...
P.S. thanks to ankit, saif, mahima, neha...

* a masterpiece- personally and professionally

This has nothing to do with January 26th…it was one of my afterthoughts laden with sociological insights and newsy events…the ones I get especially after a shower!

I have lived in America for 6 years…and felt fully American. I was American above any other identity (I really wonder which other identity I could think of there)..yes there was one identity conflict that America is yet to resolve …race…
At school, everyone thought I was a black…and I knew I was not…my mom told me that I used to cry coz kids used to call me black (funny Indian consciousness we have of putting ourselves above blacks- and below whites…we are no less racist)…then my mom used to tell me that im brown…(another Indian thing of negotiating identity)
This is not the point…
The point is how America has built and ‘sold’ an identity…its no more a social identity but a brand…it beautifully merges both facets of social identity- the national/political/legal…along with the cultural…
I know that America has a culture…its culture is not like the indian culture ...which is generally namable (eg. chutney, bharatnatyam, shaadi)
Its culture is practiced…it’s a spirit you only experience when you live there (for at least 2 years maybe)…that’s the best thing about being American…its experiential..
(for the more than 15 years I have lived in India, I have never felt as Indian as I have felt American in America)
The fallout of my theory is that I was very young and my ideas were malleable, its true that my sense of identity was forming...but Im 100% sure that there is an American identity…it’s a style of life…
Its pizza deliveries, movie rentals, big comfy sofas, high school woes, dating, ‘cute’ guys, slumber parties, Hollywood, dumb girls, braces, teddy bears, ice cream vendors, beaches, amusement parks, swimming pools, homes with staircases, ‘radical’, ‘cool’, ‘awesome’, ‘amazing’, ‘wow’…
Its something you do (and feel), not something you name…

Now for the average sociologist, this is possible…because America is relatively homogenous (linguistically and religiously…whatever) and because capitalism has been able to bring about this homogeneity too….
But I extend the argument…yes, the leaders have been successful in 1) building an American brand 2) selling it to the masses and 3) making it practicable and ‘experienciable’ (remember the experience part of it is the greatest and the most important)
…but capitalism has helped by turning this identity into a style of life (which is buyable, consumable and worth investing in) …and it has helped the concept of a ‘brand’ to materialize into the minds of the people…
capitalism is good at making people dumb and believable in what is pleasurable, achievable and material…it carves out a set ontology of life…
also, the whole identity is based on capitalist ventures (eg. eating out, movies, home improvement, clothes, looking good)…
I hope you get it…one is that the identity itself is capitalist and second, how capitalism has made this identity to materialize …

Ok…yes, India is heterogeneous, its diverse and people are so stuck up with the non-capitalist aspects of life… (marriage to top the list, then language, religion…)
But the first thing people asked me when I came here was… “whats you last name”…now that’s Indian…the name is all we need…I used to tell them coz I never knew their intentions…but now I think…why aren’t you happy with the first name..
Ok…so name is fine...then the most important question… “are you…?”..i mean they wanna know what you are…
well I don’t know..
I don’t know what I am…my parents never told me…and here is the best- “society never told me”…amazing how you can fight society (paradoxically)…
how society can control every little thing we do and what we are…but damn Indian society could never tell me what I was…
Im not a Bengali, Punjabi, Hindu, Muslim…Brahmin, SC…whatever…
The funniest thing is when people ask me what I am and they don’t get an answer…man you should see that face…so apprehensive, so tense, so restless…matlab they want to know…they feel so weak when I tell them I don’t know…(trust me, this is a real feeling, I feel it a lot and I will always feel it)
America told me I was an American…but India really never told me that I was an Indian…that’s the problem here...neither the leaders, nor the masses have been able to 1) build an Indian ‘brand’…(here im not talking about identity…but brand…please understand the difference- brand is rooted only in capitalist epistemology, while identity is much bigger)…2) so I cant talk about the next step of transcending that brand to people and making it workable in the minds of people..
See, nowadays, its cool to be ‘Indian’…but it’s very consciously said…(while the American is very unconsciously instilled) …that’s another difference…

India does have an identity, but it still needs to develop into a brand…that’s why I do feel Indian…coz I do love Shah Rukh Khan, gol gappe on the street…love shaadis…know that only here do we kill women, use gaalis for our friends…
ok, I know many may not even think of this as Indian (at least SRK is)…
Ok im wondering now…why don’t you tell me the Indian stuff…that we could build an Indian brand…I mean only if you have thoughts…
Whatever..i have lost my writing flair…will go now..
Hehehehehe…
But I admit two things:
lots of bollywood things are defniately ‘indian’
language plays the most important role in social solidarity

* what dog millionnaire??

i have heard all that shit and we know it...but then, im a sociologist, i look beyond unlike the dumb masses who accept media and given ideas

ok...two reflections..

1. this one is cool...society believes that only the 'educated' (read: rich) are capable of knowledge and question skeptically how the poor know...knowledge has come to be of the rich...this is only one epistemology

2. it is in the interest of the rich to keep the poor, poor...

-ishaa

* religion is hypocrisy

religion is the opium of the masses

here's why i think so....

1. god is the reflection of society

2. religion is the crux of all hypocrisy...religious people are hypocrites...talk about the virtues and walk about the sins...

3. its a way of controlling society and making people believe in one ideology, one epistemology...defines one ontology for millions

4. a way of perpetuating patriarchy for heaven's sake

5. lets say god is there..where the hell is he then??..is he sleeping when people are crying out loud, waiting for him to make the world happy...when millions pray, then why do millions still war??...so basically god wants us to kill each others, downplay each other and conquer our hedonistic desires that kill humanity

.................if there is religion, then marx is god..

* lone men

all men are lonely........

......saala losers!

* lonliness makes greatness

you cant stop me...
no matter how hard you try
i will fight...
i will show you that i am right
that i can win
and i can succeed in what i believe is true
no matter how good i be to you
you cant stop me from being good...
no matter how much you make me cry
my faith will reign high
coz i believe in myself
more than i believe in you
i believe that happiness comes true

thanks for everything that you do
coz it makes me a better person to be with you..
coz i have learnt patience and how not to fight
when im so hurt deep inside..
i will still try to make you happy
and do as much as i can do
if i fail
so will you

i will go...
for i have no one to talk to
its just me tonight
and my thoughts that run high
i still hope and i still plead
that you had listened to me
coz i believed that i was right
in calling you this night

i could write so long
tonight
i have never written poem instantly like this one
only for you, do my thoughts run
i know you will give me one chance
and believe that what i did
was not the last trance

i could write on......and i hope to still
coz i get so much from you
i cant fit it all in
but even if a miss a moment of happiness
i will never fall....

these are not tears..
but ways to keep the eyes clear
they say in crisis heros are born..
i am a hero tonight
coz i wrote a poem at first sight......!!

-ishaa

this one is for saifi...coz i was reading his poem and simultaneously writing mine..instant creativity is real

* what's organized??

mahima said this amazing thing...that the development sector isnt as organized as the corporate sector...so it takes alot to prove yourself...unlike in the corporate world, where with time and certain quantifiable indicators you are acknowledged and appreciated...and promoted...but in the NGO sector, you have to constatnly prove yourself...and hope for self- promotion...this fact shapes group dynamics when you work in these sectors..

for eg. in the NGO sector, there's no sureity of how you reach heights, so it makes everyone apprehensive of each other...and in the corporate sector, you know exactly how to climb the ladder so you use all competitive and cruel ways to down another person...

but the question really is: what do you get by down playing others...and more over...what do you do with all the success???..

had money made anyone happier and solved the problems of the world???

* a crashing world

it amazing how the world has become..its like we dont care about relationships..we just want to make money, work as much as we can and spend it in our own ways...i wish there is a petrol strike for days and the whole world stops for a few days...isnt that amazing...at least we will sit at home and spend time with our family, at least we will remember our friends...

thats why we blog...is there no one to hear our thoughts???..

* mahima speaks

met mahima today..was so good...i love discussing everything with her and then we jump back to theory...i like her idea about realizing that everybody has their own space and we need to realize that and appreciate everyone for what they have to offer to the world ...and another idea of hers i love the most is that we can do, is live our life to the best..and do the best we are capable of...

her motif...live and let live, do as you would want it to be done to yourself

i love it...and im gonna follow it, to be stronger and happier!

* mistakes men make

only one...they love women...

my advise to all men...dont fall in love..

but all men will fall in love and then their girl will break their heart before

they even know it...

and you will be like all those grieving men...
ah.........made women cry for centuries and now their barking like dogs!
speaking of dogs...thats the samness, both are equally faithful...but dogs are definitely cuter...

* rise above men

men, marriage and society all exist to fuck women...
the way they do it, varies...
-isha

* Jharkhand diaries

I love Jharkhand…was thinking about something I felt there…some people I talked to said “that a major problem of our community is drinking (or alcoholism)”…alcoholism is bad…but what is worse is being made to believe that a process integral to your culture is being branded as wrong/immoral by an outsider…and even worse is to perceive that and accept it…
Drinking has been a part of their culture…now two points are important
that what is a part of culture is always REGULATED
Indigenously produced items can never be produced (thus, consumed) in excess (economics duh!!)

drinking is not bad, but if it harms society, it is…I mean how the hell can you say that for these people who drink it is bad and not put this problem up fiercely in urban places and in non- cultural settings where drinking has become a norm. in so many places across the world, drinking is largely not as culturally infused and thus, a social problem (youth in pubs, drinking and driving, wife beating, spending all money on alcohol when you are poor or not)
so I wanna say two things:
they have come to think drinking AS A PART OF THEIR CULTURE is bad…when its not the case, drinking and hurting society is bad (which needs greater attention in other places/cities/countries) and
these indigenous alcohols are gradually being replaced by ‘branded’ alcohol…this shows i) how the market is destroying what was a part of their culture and very much regulated in society AND a part of their rituals and festivities…ii) how branded items are given social value and perceived to be better than indigenous stuff
thus, the market has no culture, thus, no concern for society…it maybe secular but its very much destructive.

* not another random thought

Was thinking about how people are named…think about
What your name means (if it does)
Who named you?
Where did your name come from?
What they name?
Was thinking about many religions such as Christianity, Islam, Zoroastrianism and Judaism have names after great people…or at least some people…
While Hinduism and Jainism, Indian Buddhism and many tribal religions name after objects and behaviors traits…
However, most religions other than Hinduism and tribal religions (here I include Jainism and Buddhism) have a concept of having great people (saints, prophets) and
Maybe coz they work on revelation…and teacher- disciple knowledge relation…
These religions have largely talked about the greatness of people and acknowledged it, maybe Hinduism has not…maybe we talk about the greatness of properties
But in all religions, names are after some form of greatness or something ideal that a society wishes for itself!

I will admit that I do not know much about religion…but we could reflect on it!

* the bus to Kanchipuram

Mahim is out ‘covering deprivation’…what the hell is deprivation…The most deprived are those who made the concept of deprivation coz they perceived and conceptualized a ‘lack’…others are not deprived coz they never saw something to call it ‘deprivation’… but deprivation has come to be material and quantifiable by this capitalist epistemology ..the only person who is deprived is the one who has no human relationships to savour!

* sayed on satyam!!

"there are gonna be alot of other companies in India that are gonna meet the same fate as satyam did. capitalism after reaching its highest stage is on the decline and state ownership is being promoted in the west, leading to the emergence of a socialist society that gives due rights to women"

- Sayed

* cool quote

you may not be happy if you get married, but you will definitely be sad if you dont!!

-ishaa

* hypothetical dreams

I propose a theoretical alternative to marriage.

Aim: We have heard blind dates. Here is the blind marriage. Find a guy you have never seen.

Reason 1: You will quantify his qualities…the nose, the cheek bones, face cut…educational background, profession…so here you save yourself from commodification of the individual.
Reason 2: No man is perfect. Have to accept any man, even if you are already in love with him or not- you have to accept it.
Reason 3: Marriage is acceptance of the person and adjustment. So both of you have to accept what you get (coz you did trust the person who found you that person).

Assumption 1: Marriage is social fact. It will happen.
Assumption 2: Gender duality.
Assumption 3: Heterosexuality.

In my ‘proposal’ Ego is female.

Prerequisite 1: The family and the man accepts the alternative
Prerequisite 2: Trust between the one who finds the partner and the families of both partners

Methodology: Trust.

Steps: Find someone you trust and wants you to be happy and knows you well.
Tell that someone to find someone for you who you can marry.
Convince that man about the alternative.

Effects: seeing the person you will spend your life with for the first time on the day you get married! Trust me, seems exciting! Then, discovering someone who is ready to be with you since all he does - is believe in alternatives!

Consequence 1: Acceptance. (In dominant and alternative forms of marriage)
Consequence 2: Happiness. You will love someone who will believe in this idea if you do too. (We always like people who are somewhat like us – sociologists call this homophily)

Each day is new!!