you know arranged marriages have alot of logic...you learn to adjust and accept a person as they are...at least in india...we cant really if we end up with a guy who has smelly feet, is too emotional, has an ugly nose...cant buy a better laptop...and watches cricket the whole day...coz you gotta accept it...men have to settle with the women they get...oily hair, cant make amazing gaajar ka halwa...has alot of attitude, refuses to sleep on the other side of the bed...carries mineral water and medicines everywhere she goes..they have to live with it...in this way, all indians get married even if they are ugly or cant take you to europe...we learn to love someone the way they are...we learn to give and compromise even when we hate it...for love marriages...its to demanding...coz you marrying someone of your choice..what if he changes...who do you blame???...at least in aranged marriages, we can blame our parents, our family and our society (and most who follow this tradition are huge fans of fate, so life become easy...just fucking blame fate)...........in love marriages, the stakes are high...great expectations..from each other and from the other half's (he may not always be 'better') family....its more scarier...what i like about arranged marriages is that they rest on the fundamental fact of life...that we have to adjust with the person we live with..(even if we were already in love with him)........and the whole concept has lots of loopholes for success...like you have mister fate...then you have relatives who will do anything to make sure you are happy....and most of all...its acceptable....when things are acceptable, people are happy....... its one of Maslow's needs....we all want to conform somewhere......but many of us deny it....
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5 years ago
3 comments:
Dont agree totally.
I mean arrange marriages are only workable in India. You cant make them work outside. Who would think of people in Europe/America forcing people to marry? I mean they could set you up, but you'd have to see if you're compatible.If not, move on.
India is different. Here people cant accept something other than homosexual..so..377 still exists.
I know that you've grown used to the idea of arranged marriage. I think its not good at all. Nothing better to live on your terms even though that means blaming yourself. Not parents, society. Yourself because its your choice. Its not forced. What would others do? Point and look at you? talk behind you? Ridicule you? Not invite you to tupperware parties? I think it still beats living in forced circumstances. Your marrige isn't working. fine. Move out. Make a choice. There's a long road to go before one can really accept one's responsibility and its never too soon to start.
meant heterosexual*
(all queers staring and bringing pink dildos to spank me!SAVE)
well..its the space n time factor first of all..(im a great fan of susan..!!)
well i don understand,in ur earlier posts u write abt studing sociology n trying to Q everything, which seems radicle in many ways..the entire enrty..then here u are trying to take a safer side by giving up all the things that u have learnt..
we learn to love ppl as they are..it can happen before marriage n result into a love mariage n even after the arranged marriage..
the smelly feet,watching cricket all day n other things then appear no longer irritationg but a part of THEIR lives..im not a great believer of marriages,so this debate in the two kinds is not very fascinating to me rt now..
but ur thinking pulls me down here to write back something..
i think spaces we come from ,we can take liberties and end up as we wnt ir respective of wat society believes..u just need the other partner to be sensitive and stand next to u..
thats all u need..everytype has its advantages..lets give them their due n not judge which is better..
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